RC: I was approached by someone who wanted me to be his dominant. So I looked into Kink and learned a lot about the scene. We've developed a dynamic, and that's brought me further into the kink space, looking at various options. I had some interest, but I never really had the words to explain my feelings. Growing up in a very religious, conservative lifestyle, certain things have always been considered wrong or taboo. I eventually did a full 360°, and found ways to reconcile my faith and religion with who I am.

PW: It is incredible how our upbringing and spiritual environment can shape our lives.

RC: That spirit of openness and exploration has always lived inside of me. I’ve always had a bit of bear energy just below the surface. I just never really thought about it. I just chalked it up to me getting poked just so many times before I bared my claws and teeth.

PW: Woof! There it goes again. (grin)

RC: One time in college, I went up to a friend's mom’s place in Humboldt County for Thanksgiving. I went on a walk along the creek and found some native clay. I worked that clay, molding a little bear. I've still got that little guy. My totem. I molded the clay as I walked, letting my hands work while I meditated. It was so natural to have that figure come out of the clay. It is ironic because I remember sculpting a lot of men's bodies in clay class back in high school. I’ve still got one of those too.

PW: That’s fascinating. Though I can definitely relate to having a history of connecting with a bear image and the essence of a bear.

PW: Hello, Mr. Bear! Thank you for reaching out and for joining me on this chat today. It's such a pleasure to meet you.

RC: It’s a pleasure to meet you too.

PW: So, introduce Ravecare for us.

RC: My name is Ravencare, and I’m a bear from Auckland, New Zealand. Outside the hood, I’m a trans man exploring the wonderful world of animal or pet play, and the ursine (bear) side of life.

PW: Woof! Oops, that slipped out. So, what's your footprint in New Zealand?

RC: Well, I’m an immigrant with dual citizenship. I came to New Zealand from California in 2001 to be with my then-partner, whom I met online. I left her two years ago. We’re just going through a formal dissolution of the civil union. When I originally met her, we were women in a lesbian relationship. There have always been areas of my life that I didn’t feel comfortable with. I began to realize I was transgender. I went through the process, through lots of counseling, psychiatry, and everything you do. Then, around 2005–2006, I began my transition to male. So it's been a long journey. In some ways, I now see myself as a papa bear or an elder in this new generation of non-binary and trans people online. I’ve begun to face the fact that I am getting older. But I get to reach out and help others understand that they're not alone.

PW: That is a long journey. It sounds like you’re definitely on the right path.

RC: I was out on my own, and for the first time, I needed to look at dating. I’ve only been in a few relationships. Now I had to step back into that process of dating, but for the first time as a trans person. It’s been an interesting journey.

PW: To say the least. But, good for you.

RC: Subconsciously, both sides were somehow always a part of me. So learning more about pet and animal play, I started looking at that world and all the parts it's made of. Okay. What is it? What do I want to explore? How do I want to explore this life? It is all still relatively new to me.

PW: I like how you use the term “animal play” instead of the more common pet play. I just imagine calling a bear a pet. What was it that you said about claws and teeth?

RC: I’ve been trying to find a way to connect more with my bear side. I got some ideas online, and I've got my Spotify playlist with my collection of bear-growling sounds. Scares the hell out of my cat.

PW: Smart cat. Do you feel more drawn to the lovable, cuddly side of being a bear, or the more protective side? Or is there something else altogether?

RC: Maybe all of the above. I'm still learning every time I connect with my bear spirit. I’m finding my loving side, but the protective side is always there. He’s hibernating right now, but...

PW: I hear that.

RC: I can feel the bear strength. The inner strength. I have the belly of a Pooh bear. I am not as hairy as I would like to be, but the testosterone is still doing its thing.

PW: What kind of rituals or preparations do you go through when entering a bear head space?

RC: It’s an immersion into a space where I’m not alone. I start with my modified pup hood. I altered the ears to be more bear-like. Eventually, when finances allow, I’ll purchase a proper bear hood. I have a ring with a bear claw on its face. In my everyday life, the bear claw faces me, but when I go into my bear head space, I turn the claw to face outward. It represents the bear coming out of me. Just another part of the ritual, I guess. Depending upon how deep I want to go, I play my bear audio playlist, and put on a shoulder piece I made, and furry arm coverings.

PW: That’s wonderful! I can imagine the feeling of being in your own “den.”

RC: My nature soundtrack begins with two short growling bear sounds and then plays the cave sounds with dripping water echoing off the stone walls. Then, finally, nothing. No music. Just the sounds of my bear cave. Sanctuary.