Our Pack, Our Responsibility

Bullies in Our Midst

Daddy-Bear Brett

9/18/2024

A man in a pup hood sitting on a bed holding his phone.
A man in a pup hood sitting on a bed holding his phone.

Bullies are nothing new. Theyโ€™ve been around since the dawn of humankind. Due mostly to the uncomfortable fact that they are us. Bullying is everywhere, in and around our vibrant pup-play community. This violence is a toxic behavior that can have devastating consequences, both emotionally and psychologically. This type of abuse is usually habitual and repeated, often ending in physical and/or psychological injury. Bullying has been shown to lead to loneliness, depression, anxiety, damaged self-esteem, and a lowered immune system. Victims of this type of targeted violation, whether in person or online, have shown a variety of reactions, including eating disorders, anxiety, body dysmorphia, and a growing number of psychological responses. As a community, we must address this issue head-on and create a safer, more inclusive space for everyone.

Bullying used to be a phenomenon reserved for tough future psychopaths venting their childhood rage on the weaker kids on the playground. Adult bullies would feed off of the fears and insecurities of their more timid and vulnerable neighbors, co-workers, families, and friends. Those behaviors are indicative of a person experiencing any number of psychological conditions, from narcissism to psychopathy.

The pup-play community has evolved significantly over the years. Without question, there have been many positive changes and astounding growth. The pup community of today shows a level of acceptance and unity unmatched by most other LGBTQ+ and kink groups. But it is hard to ignore the concerning rise in bullying behaviors, most notably in the online places our pup and animal kin roam. Many of us have experienced our share of abuse, ridicule, and social exclusion. Pup-play provides a means of escapism, acceptance, and joy. The last thing any pup or critter needs is to fall prey to some angry troll unleashing vitriolic cyberbullying, social exclusion, and harassment.

The impact of bullying is profound and very dangerous. Victims can experience dark feelings of isolation, depression, anxiety, self-harm, and suicidal ideation. It's crucial to recognize the severity of the situation and take steps to prevent and address bullying.

Recently, a young pup opened up on Pupspace about his unrealized zoophilia and the shame associated with having unwanted feelings and attractions. The pup may have poorly chosen the forum in which to discuss his feelings. But bad choices aside, he did not expect the level of negative response from other pups, threatening physical harm, public outing, doxing, and home invasion. The final blow was to suggest that this young man take his own life. The hue-and-cry response was nominal, but the pups were all reported. The victim was suspended from the service, while the perpetrators are still active.

We need to do better. We must call out the behavior when we see it. Turning a blind eye to a bully on social media is tantamount to walking away from a hit-and-run victim. You can interrupt the cycle of abuse. One of the most effective ways to combat bullying is to foster a culture of empathy and understanding in your community, your pack, or online social network. Encourage safe and open communication and conflict resolution. We can make our global pack even more supportive and inclusive. Get the facts. Document and listen to both sides of a story before jumping to conclusions and making assumptions.

If you see it, read it, or hear it, YOU are a bystander. Bystanders have to intervene and report bullying incidents. Weโ€™ve got to support one another. Our pup family needs us to watch their backs, as we would want them to do. Let's work together to create a pup and animal kin community thatโ€™s free from bullying and harassment. People need to be vulnerable in an environment of safety and trust. If someone opens up, itโ€™s not your business to judge. By promoting empathy, understanding, and inclusivity, we can build a stronger and more supportive Pup World for everyone.

See it? Read it? Hear it? Report it.

For more resources, visit our
Paws for Support.

Embroidered puppy patch "PAWS FOR SUPPORT" Art by ai&me
Embroidered puppy patch "PAWS FOR SUPPORT" Art by ai&me