A Few Words from the Authors

We took our time preparing this story. At first, it was just Night, trying to capture his and Bandit's thoughts. Then, we wrote it together, aiming for a unified voice. But ultimately, we decided that Night would express our shared ideas and feelings. So, this article is from his perspective, with careful attention to Bandit's thoughts and emotions.

Why You Might Find This Interesting

As a storyteller, evoking emotion through empathy is crucial to me. If you're in a country with limited LGBTQ rights, you might find comfort and solidarity in our words. If you're from a place with good human rights, I hope you continue to appreciate that freedom. This article isn't about settling for less; it's about our desire for more.

Read on to learn about LGBTQ life in countries with restricted rights and what keeps us going every day (spoiler: it's people like you).

Russia Reality

Let me take you back a bit. Me, Nightwolf, was born and raised in Moscow, Russia. It's hard to believe, but there was a time when Russia was becoming more inclusive of LGBTQ people. My childhood and teen years were during the freest political era: Tatu sang about girl love on TV, my friends and I watched Western movies and cartoons filled with democracy and freedom, and adults saw LGBTQ people as something unusual but not dangerous.

This atmosphere changed rapidly after 2011. The illegal annexation of Crimea in 2014 marked the start of a political shift towards isolation, culminating in the full-scale war against Ukraine in 2022.

Now, all those Western values I grew up with are seen as a state threat. Here are some laws from modern Russia:

• A ban on LGBTQ propaganda (even mentioning LGBTQ is forbidden)

• A ban on transgender transition (continuation of existing transitions is also banned)

• LGBTQ is officially banned, and the community is labeled terrorist and extremist

In Moscow, once the most liberal city, gay clubs and saunas face regular raids. Visitors are forced to the floor, beaten, humiliated, detained, and fined for "propaganda" within private clubs.

I wanted to share this pain. It's tough living in a society that denies your existence and now labels you a terrorist. All I want is the right to love someone who consents.

Kazakhstan Reality

Moving to Kazakhstan in fall 2022 was an easy decision. I left the place I lived for 22 years in a single day. Whether forever, I don't know, but definitely for a long time.

Things were hard until I met Bandit in the fall 2023. Ironically, in Kazakhstan, a conservative country with a largely Islamic population, LGBTQ rights are somewhat better. There are supportive organizations, initiatives, and safe spaces. However, public displays of non-traditional relationships remain dangerous.

The biggest challenge for local LGBTQ people is the lack of support. The conservative older generation heavily influences the younger ones. Bandit struggled to accept his pansexuality.

We also need to mention the troubling news about LGBTQ rights in Kazakhstan. It seems the government plans to introduce a law similar to Russia’s anti-gay propaganda law (which, of course, doesn’t actually exist). A petition has already gathered the 50,000 signatures needed for parliamentary discussion. I’m sure the law will pass. After that, it’s only a matter of time before Kazakhstan follows Russia’s path. The country might not start a war, but it will likely tighten restrictions and lean towards global isolation, fostering hatred and hostility towards anything that doesn’t fit their norm.

It’s been really hard for Bandit to accept his pansexuality. We grew up in similar environments, with childhoods that were pretty much the same (probably like many others in the CIS region).

Bandit feels a lot of pressure from family traditions. His relatives keep asking when he’ll get married or at least introduce them to his girlfriend. He’s 26 and has never been seen with a potential partner.

In another situation, I’d shout, “It’s none of your business!” and get really upset at their tactlessness. But I get why this happens. It’s easier for people to stick with what once felt stable and accepted by society. Acceptance is crucial for everyone (sorry, that’s the social psychologist in me talking).

Sometimes, we clean Bandit’s house so carefully that his family won’t even suspect he wasn’t alone. We almost got caught once because we forgot his collar with the tag in plain sight. We had to go back and get it.

I really wish Bandit could introduce me to his family as his boyfriend (or even future husband), and for me to do the same with mine. And for it to happen in a setting of acceptance and love. Honestly, I get teary-eyed thinking about it because I know it might never happen…

Bandit felt terribly lonely, especially with his interest in pup play. Many saw him as just a casual fling, not the kind, loyal pup seeking attention.

But there is still hope

Since we met, things have improved for Bandit. He's no longer lonely and is ready to embrace his interests. We're planning trips to NFC and Darklands, connecting with pups and furries worldwide, and inviting them to Almaty.

And we're planning to move to Europe because we're tired of compromising. Over time, if you haven't accepted society's rules, you get tired of the status quo. You don't want to fool yourself into thinking, "well, I'm not being hunted, so I can live."

I want to hug Bandit in public. I want to hold his hand while watching a sunset in a park. It's unfair to fight so hard for these simple things.

But we're ready. No more compromises. We choose us.